When I initially sat down to write this, I honestly didn’t know what to say. I had no words to express the gravity that April 5, 1994 still holds on music in general — mostly because Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain was an icon of a generation by the time he took his own life, but also because I was a child when he died. As teens and young adults the world over were mourning the loss, I was barely eight years old and still barely finding my musical identity.
Looking back on the legacy that he was able to build in roughly seven years with Nirvana, it’s understandable why his suicide hurt so much. He’d just turned 27 a couple months prior. He was, for all intents and purposes, just like his fans: he still had an entire lifetime left, full of successes, failures, and challenges as a musician, a husband, and as a father.
The pain he apparently felt leading up to that rainy day in Washington all those years ago was nothing new, nor was the struggle with substance abuse. From the outside, he’d made it. He was a massive rock star with throngs of fans wherever he went. Yet, his internal struggle became too much and we all sadly know the rest of his story.
Perhaps the biggest shock that bubbled up to the surface following Cobain’s death was the fact that maybe, just maybe, money and fame don’t immediately mean you’re going to be okay. That success isn’t the immediate balm to our problems and unless we address our struggles, they may never go away.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide was the cause of 49,449 deaths in 2022. Of those deaths, 39,255 were men. Yet given the fact that six million men suffer from depression each year, the Anxiety & Depression Association of America says it often goes undiagnosed.
In the years since Cobain’s suicide, the rock and metal world have lost other major talents to suicide. Irreplaceable frontmen like Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington, Soundgarden’s Chris Cornell, and The Black Dahlia Murder’s Trevor Strnad are no longer with us and that’s just off the top of my head. Every one of those immense talents left far too young, just as Cobain did.
I may not have been old enough to recognize the gravity of Cobain’s passing, but three decades later I get it now. The pain of learning a favorite musician, a coworker, a loved one has taken their own life is one that many of us will sadly feel again — though I sincerely hope beyond all hope that we won’t.
So on this day of continued mourning for the loss of a musical icon now three decades past, reach out to someone you think may be struggling and tell them how much they mean to you. Do something for them to show that you see them, recognize their hurt, and will be there for them. And if you’re hurting, know that you always have a shot at turning things around. I know that sounds saccharine and meaningless coming from some jackoff on a metal website, but it’s true.
If you or someone you love is struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, please know that help is available. You can visit the Suicide Prevention Resource Center website for information on how to seek help or you can call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 at any time.
